James 1:4
“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.
Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
There is probably not a teacher alive who has not prayed the equivalent of the prayer,
“Lord, grant me patience and grant me patience, now!”
Unfortunately, lack of patience characterizes far too many classroom situations. The results are predictable. Students are fearful, teachers are frustrated, parents hear awful reports about the school, and administrators get larger ulcers over the potential fallout.
I am convinced that much of the pressure found in the Christian school movement could be dissipated if God’s people would express a greater measure of patience. The question of course is “How?” How can a teacher learn to express a measure of patience with students?
Some young people are slow. Some are disruptive. Some are inattentive. Some are distracted by home problems. Some simply have poor study skills. Some are from another planet. The following steps might help.
First, meditate fully on the negative results of impatience. Begin by observing the facial expressions of those who are the objects of irritability. It can break your heart and perhaps motivate to change.
Most children are very transparent. Love and joy, sadness and sorry, pain and shame are clearly revealed on their faces. This is how parents know about children’s guilt. I have watched far too many children cave under my impatience and when I looked fully on their facial expressions, I wanted to change the way I was treating them.
I observed something else too. Some of the students were developing hard souls. Natural defense mechanisms were being erected to protect self from unpleasant exposure to the teacher’s impatience usually expressed by disappointing looks, exasperated sighs, audible groans, and critical remarks.
Besides the facial expressions of pain and the hardening of hearts, something happens to the very atmosphere of the class. Here there is room for flexibility and different opinions but my own procedure was to have as relaxed a classroom structure as possible. There were boundaries of course, but a lot of freedom too.
For example, if doing class work, a student wanted to say something to another student, I would allow notes to be passed provided that a hand was first raised and permission was granted. For me this eliminated a lot of police watch and being deceitful by the kids.
Other liberties included getting side tracked from the subject from time to time to talk about particular interest, I am speaking mostly of course about students in the upper grades.
The point is that every classroom has a certain atmosphere set by the teacher be it rigid or relaxed, chaotic, or controlled.
Irritability and impatience change that atmosphere if there is good report and confirms hostility between student and teacher if excessive. Personally, I would encourage teachers to be more informal, if proper decorum is maintained. My students did use manners saying, “Yes, sir”, “No, sir”, “please”, and “Thank you”.
They stood up when visitors entered the room.
A mirror on the wall could help with attitude checks, and smile signs are not bad.
A second step in learning how to express a measure of patience with students is by remembering how self likes to be treated. Jesus said, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even to them” (Matthew 7:12).
The world says “do unto others before they do it unto you.” There is not a person here who wants to be treated rudely or roughly.
Have you ever gone into a store in which the cashier was having a bad day? Change was given without courtesy or comments were made sharply. “How did you feel about such treatment?”
Children are no different. Perhaps because children are so resilient, perhaps because children are so forgiving (and I speak mainly now about the elementary students) we forget their feelings are fragile too. If Matthew 7:12 is applied adult to child as well as adult to adult, it can make a difference.
A third step in learning how to have patience is to consider how wonderful this virtue is. English Bishop George Horne (1730-1792) wrote,
“Patience strengthens the spirit, sweetens the temper, stifles anger, extinguishes envy, subdues pride, bridles the tongue, restrains the hand, and tramples upon temptation.”
The people we admire are those who express this virtue. What is forgotten is that this virtue is cultivated in the soul of small things. W.S. Plumer wrote, “Be patient in little things. Learn to bear the everyday trials and annoyances of life quietly and calmly and then, when unforeseen trouble or calamity comes, your strength will not forsake you.”
From history the life of Eleanor Roosevelt bears testimony to this principle of process. If you ever get a chance, read the work by Joseph P. Lash entitled Eleanor and Franklin. It is the story of their relationship, based on Eleanor Roosevelt’s private papers. Eleanor Roosevelt lived a life of triumph and tragedy as few people ever experienced.
As a child Eleanor was considered, and even called, ugly by her mother. Her parent’s separated because of her father’s drinking. Yet she loved him passionately and then he died. Her mother died too. Eleanor was alone. Marriage to Franklin brought her happiness unknown until the Lucy Mercer affair and then there was her husband’s paralysis.
After 1933, Eleanor, now first Lady of the Land, was interviewed by Cissy Patterson for the Washington Herald. Cissy wanted to know how Eleanor had escaped the sick vanity and wounded ego that drained the vitality out of people. You are never angry, for instance?
“Oh no, I really don’t get angry. You see I try to understand people.”
“But when you were young, were you free like this? So free- free of yourself?”
“No. When I was young, I was very self-conscious.”
How then did Eleanor achieve mastery over herself? Somewhere along the line there must have been a struggle.
“Little by little,”
Eleanor replied.
“As life developed, I faced each problem as it came along. I tried never to evade an issue. When I found I had something to do – I just did it.”
Cissy Patterson concluded her article by observing,
“Mrs. Roosevelt has solved the problem of living better than any woman I have ever known.”
Patience is a virtue to be desired. Consider then how wonderful it is. Besides observation, sensitivity, and meditation, emulation can help in learning to be patient. I have always been impressed with the forbearance of Abraham Lincoln especially with such men as Sec. Stanton, a man of very pronounced views.
One day President Lincoln sent a message to Secretary of State Stanton by a page. On reaching the message, Stanton used violent language and as he tore up the message said,
“President Lincoln is a fool!”
Returning to the president, the page told him what Secretary Stanton had said concerning his message and the President himself. Instead of becoming angry, the President, after a moment’s thought, said with a grin,
“Well, perhaps Secretary Stanton’s right!”
Because of his greatness of soul and soft answer, Lincoln completely unarmed the man who so frequently opposed him.
The Apostle Paul’s attitude towards the church at Corinth offers much to be admired as well as our Lord’s comments from the Cross of Calvary. The Bible says that Jesus endured the Cross for the glory on the other side. You will see that learning how to express patience is primarily a mental attitude.
However, there are some overt steps that can also be taken.
First, make sure you are getting enough sleep. Sometimes it is better to forego the late-night movie, Monday night football, or that social visit for the sake of the classroom.
Second, if you find yourself unusually irritable have a physical checkup. There might be a need for change in one’s diet.
Third, visit with a friend about your spiritual quota. Unconfessed sin, unresolved tensions can affect classroom performance.
Fourth, remove the sources of irritation if possible. It might mean rearranging the pupils, the room, etc. But do it.
Fifth, determine and then be willing to verbalize instructions as many times as necessary without additional facial expressions, or comments. This last point is perhaps the most controversial suggestion but I offer it anyway.
For myself, there came a time when I threw caution to the wind and determined that I would repeat as many times as necessary. I would demonstrate as many times as necessary; I would point to the obvious as many times as necessary to get the information across.
When I did this out of a willing heart, and patient spirit, I knew greater peace and less irritability. When I finally realized that no matter what the experts say or teach, in my class there were kids who just could not remember a direction after only fifth teen times. I anticipated their needs and was prepared to go stir crazy for their sake.
There is one final practical suggestion. I offer it only for those who enjoy self-induced misery, or for those who want a quick way to patience. Find someone who does something that just really irritates you, and deliberately stay around them.
I trust that your heart is challenged to meditate fully on the negative results of patience, remember how self would like to be treated, consider how wonderful the virtue of patience is, study to emulate the lives of great men and women who have learned patience all the while taking practical steps to eliminate potential sources of irritation.
I know that you are sincere about wanting to have more patience in the classroom because you signed up for this time to be together. Be of good cheer, God also wants you to bear the fruit of patience, according to Galatians 5:22-23. That is why He made you a schoolteacher.
Some years ago, a young minister once asked an older minister to pray that he might have more patience, for he realized he was short in patience. The aged man fell to his knees and began to pray that God would send trouble and difficulties upon the young man.
Finally, the young minister tapped him on the shoulder and whispered, “You have misunderstood me; I asked that you would pray that I might have more patience, not more trouble.”
The older minister replied,
“Remember the Scripture says, ‘Tribulation worketh patience’ (Romans 5:8). That is the only way!”
If you desire to know how to exercise more patience than cheer up, things are going to get worse.
“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire wanting nothing.”
“The perfect work of patience is a resolute perseverance,” writes Earl Kelly, in spite of length, harshness, or continual succession of various tests.”
In the classroom your Christian faith will be put to the test for the purpose of approval. God will have you mature as a Christian. There is a Chinese proverb that says, “With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes silk.”
Perhaps someday some child will come to you and say,
“Teacher, I just wanted to thank you for being so patient with me.”
If that ever happens it will be worth it all.
But even if years go by without verbal appreciation on earth, our Father in heaven will one day say,
“Well done, thy good and faithful servant.”
