“Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”
~Matthew 5:8
If a person wants to become a peacemaker, if a person wants to be favored by God in this area, then certain steps must be taken.
Determine to be obedient in this facet of the known will of God.
Study what the Bible has to say about peace, with special attention made about having peace with God, having the peace of God, and having peace from God. A philosophy of peace is important, for as a person thinks in their heart, so will they act.
Choose your words wisely. There are words which inflame a person, and other words which have a calming effect. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov. 15:1).
Characteristics of Grievous Words
Grievous words include words of profanity. We read how Peter cursed, when confronted by a little girl about being a disciple of Jesus.
Grievous words include ad hominem, or personal attacks. When Elisha went to Bethel, he was met by some young men who did not value his ministry, and jeered at him saying, “Get out of here, baldy” (2 Kings 2:23, NIV).
Grievous words include gossip, slander, and innuendos. In Acts 17, the story is told of Jews which believed not the gospel, moved with envy, gathered a company, assaulted the house of Jason, and brought him and others unto the rulers of the Thessalonica crying, “These have turned the world upside down are come hither also.” The innuendo is that the Christians were causing trouble, and breaking laws contrary to the decrees of Caesar (v. 6, 7)
Grievous words include lies. Worried about his beautiful wife Sarah, age 65, Abraham lied about his relationship with her when, during a drought in Israel, they went to Egypt and stood in Pharoah’s court. Abraham said Sarah was his sister. Because the prince was enamored with Sarah, Abraham was given livestock and servants (Gen. 12:16). But eventually, his lie was exposed, and brought much trouble to everyone due to a plague (Gen. 12:17).
Grievous words include words that are deceptive and misleading. A certain orator named Tertullus, spoke against Paul before the governor of Judea saying, “we have found this man a plague, one who stirs up riots among all the Jews throughout the world and is a ringleader of the sect of the Nazarenes” (Acts 24:5, ESV). The deceptive and misleading thought here is that Paul was a civil anarchist. That was not true.
Grievous words wound the spirit. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6). Sometimes a friend will say something difficult with the good of a friend in mind but, more often, grievous words wound the spirit, as when Judas kissed Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. His kiss was deceitful, and wounded the heart of Jesus.
Grievous words stir up strife. When Rehoboam was asked to lighten the tax burden Solomon had imposed on the Jews, he foolishly replied, “My father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke: my father also chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions” (1 Kings 12:14). Soon, civil war broke out, and a nation was divided.
In Contrast, Consider Soft Words
Soft words are gentle words. The Bible says that “the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth” (2 Tim. 2:24, 25).
Soft words are inviting words. Listen to Jesus who invited others to come to Him. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).
Soft words are timely words. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Prov. 25:11). It is good to know just what to say at the right time.
Soft words are wise words. If you want to be a peacemaker, ask God for words of wisdom. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5).
If you desire to be a peacemaker, agree with your adversary as much as possible. “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison” (Matt. 5:34, NKJV).
If you desire to be a peacemaker, do not judge a matter too quickly.
“You shall not be partial in judgment. You shall hear the small and the great alike. You shall not be intimidated by anyone, for the judgment is God’s” (Deut. 1:17).
“He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him” (Prov. 18:13).
If you desire to be a peacemaker, make righteousness your objective, not a particular bias.
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” (John 7:24).