How to Have a Happier Home

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:18-22).

There are Four Divine Institutions stablished by God: The Will, Marriage, Family, and Government.

Attention is paid in this passage to the home. It is God who established the home. The home is a Divine idea. It was God who performed the first marriage in the Garden of Eden when He brought together Adam and Eve. Therein is a principle for all people looking to be married. You should wait on God to bring to you the person of His choice.

So many people rush into marriage. Some are too young to be married. Some are too immature. Many know they should not marry the person they are with, but they do so anyway. Why? Because they are impatient.

The Bible says, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). If you want a happy home, wait upon the Lord.

The home and the family you want is just as important to God as it is to you. Before the cities and governments, before the written languages, before there were temples and places of worship, there were families.

The first miracle Jesus performed took place when a new home was being established. “And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: 2 And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage” (John 2:1-2).

By attending the wedding in Cana of Galilee, Jesus was underscoring the importance of the home. As the home goes, the nation goes for, “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” (William Ross Wallace, 1865).

The home cannot be separated from the health of a nation, or the health of an individual. The Austrian neurologist, Sigmund Freud (1856–1939) became famous for tracing the complexities of negative adult behavior to the home.

It is right that a nation be concerned with what is happening to families. It is more significant than what happens on Wall Street, or the United Nations.

In the home character is born.

In the home integrity is instilled.

In the home values to live by are made clear.

Attitudes are formed that last a lifetime.

The question comes. “Is your home built on a solid foundation?” Remember the story that Jesus told about a man who built his house upon a rock? (Matt. 7:24-27). “Is your house built upon a rock?”

A solid foundation is God. The solid rock is Jesus.

There are many homes where God is not mentioned. Jesus is not known. The home is built upon sinking sand, and is tottering towards failure.

Currently, the divorce rate in America is about 40 percent, which brings a lot of pain and suffering into the home. Many young people grow up in the daily presence of emotional turmoil and tension. There is verbal abuse, and mental anguish day after day, for years on end. Children are constantly on the edge that their home is going to break up, and yet they have to go to school, and study, and carry on in life.

Rather than take steps to make the home a happy place, many parents refuse to rebuild their own hearts in order to make God and His Word the foundation of faith and family. There is too much hatred and hostility in the heart. It is easier to play the part of a victim than to repent and do right.

Modern society does not help. There are many pressures placed on the home to ensure that God is left outside the door.

There is the pressure of making money in order to enjoy a life style that is so extravagant, many possessions have to be stored in the garage, and the car parked in the driveway. The people of Judah in the fifth century BC, had this problem. They had so much rubbish they were not able to build the walls of Jerusalem, the City of God (Neh. 4:10). There are homes where there is so much rubbish, individuals are not able to build a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

There is the pressure of pursuing happiness. Breathless activities take place to the point that no one can stop and smell the roses, or watch the beauty of a sunset. The quantity of accomplishments makes it impossible for a person to pause long enough to hear the Lord say, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

 There is the pressure of a changing culture. From January 12, 1971 to April 8, 1979, the TV producers, Norman Lear and Bud Yorkin, launched a frontal assault on the home. They encouraged Americans to laugh at the patriarch of the family, Archie Bunker, played by Carroll O’Connor. The sound track encouraged applause when the wife of the patriarch, and the mother of their child was called “Dingbat”, played by Jean Stapleton. The wisdom of the world was conveyed in the program through the thoughts of the radical “Meathead”, played by Rob Reiner.

The godlessness of the show, and the mockery of the home was not harmless humor. It was not kept “All in the Family.” There was a message being conveyed to millions that began to resonate throughout society.

Other TV programs and movies followed suit to change and transform culture. Each one became more profane laced, more brazen, more decadent in content, and more morally corrupt. God’s gift of humor to be used in the home, has been used as a tool by the world, the flesh, and the Devil to assault the home, and destroy the nuclear and extended family.

This assault on the home is an assault upon God Himself. From one end of the Bible to the other the warning is given. If the home fails, society will fail. The history of all the great civilizations confirms this to be true.

America will prove to be no exception. Unless there is a spiritual revival and the home is renewed, our nation will fail. Others will come to displace us, and dispossess us of our land, our resources, and our country. There is no way to escape the judgment of God unless we return to God fearing homes.

So, what can be done to reverse the decline and fall of our country? What can be done to have a happy home?

First, in order to have a happier home, parents must accept their responsibility to be a good, decent, and godly example to the children.

The prophet Ezekiel spoke of a proverb which says, “As is the mother, so is her daughter” (Ezekiel 16:44). Parents are to set an example in front of the children.

When a man wants to marry a particular woman, he would be wise to get to know her mother as much as possible. “As is the mother, so is her daughter.” If the mother is godly, so will the daughter be. If the mother is careful about her looks, and her house, there is a good chance the daughter will be the same.

The same is true of the father. If a woman wants to know about the man she is going to marry, she should get to know his father, and find out if he is a good and godly man, mature and capable of instilling values in his son. She needs to know if the man she is to marry is capable of authentic love, and will be a good father to their children.

“When the good Lord was creating Fathers, he started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, “What kind of Father is that? If you’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put Fathers up so high? He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping.” And God smiled and said, “Yes, but if I make him child-size, who would children have to look up to?”

And when God made a Father’s hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook her head sadly and said, “Do you know what you’re doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails, or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats.” And God smiled and said, “I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face in his hands.”

And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack. “Boy, this is the end of the week, all right,” she clucked. “Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?” And God smiled and said, “A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus.”

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had every seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. “That’s not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?” And God smiled and said, “They’ll work. You’ll see. They’ll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill.”

God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, “Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?” The angel shuteth up.”—Erma Bombeck.

Parents, accept your responsibility to be a good, decent, and godly example to the children. You will help preserve the nation, and you will exalt the home. It will be a happy home.

Second, in order to have a happier home, make Christ, and the Word of God, the foundation of all that you say and do.

When you think, think in a righteous way. “Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Phil. 4:8).

When you speak, speak in a righteous way. “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man” (Col. 4;6). When you use humor with one another, make sure it is not cutting, mean, or hurtful. Built up others, and do not tear them down. Compliment those you love, and do not complain.

When you feel, feel in a righteous way. Change your thoughts and you will change your feelings. Let love be the dominate emotion of your heart. Love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13 so there should be no confusion as to what love really looks like.

Third, in order to have a happier home, wives must respect their husbands (Eph. 5:22-24), husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25), and children must obey their parents as they are brought up in the nurture [education, or training] and admonition [warning] of the Lord. Christian is to receive a Christian education and are to be taught to fear God (Eph. 6:1-3).

When respect is shown, when great love is manifested, when children honor their parents, there will be a happy home.

And care must be found not to justify disobedience to the known will of the Lord. A spouse might say, “The person I married is not worthy of respect.” A child might say, “My parents are mean and hateful and are not worthy of honor.”

All of that misses the point.

The Christian is under a holy obligation, and a royal command, to do right regardless of the attitude and actions of others. When bad behavior in the Christian is justified, then the very hope of happiness in the home vanishes. Truthfulness, honesty, kindness, gracious speech, and personal integrity is never dependent on what someone else says or does. Let Jesus Christ be seen in us.

 As the mother, so is the daughter.

As the father, so is the Son.

As Christ, so is the Christian.

Fourth, in order to have a happier home, the home must be glorified and exalted. In America, millions of couples are delaying getting married. Many live together and have “a friendship with benefits”, according to social jargon. But they are not formally establishing the home. They do not want to be committed. That is understandable, but it is not right.

The concept of the home must once more be revitalized, idealized, highly esteemed, and honored.  This can only be achieved through a renewed commitment to God, to the Bible, and to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

The Lord is asking individuals to make that commitment today. “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts” (Col. 3:16, NIV)

Jesus said, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them” (John 14:23, NIV).

Will you make that commitment today, and say with Joshua, “but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15)?

May God help you to make that renewed commitment in this very hour in order to have a happy home, or, at the very least, a happier home than ever before.